The Weekend Blog | I’m not alone
6th August 2017
A few months ago, I broke down in tears because I felt lonely. I felt like I was a horrible person who drove people away from me. I felt like people didn’t want to spend time with me because I’m constantly miserable or depressed. I felt like I’d isolated myself.
Just before we moved house I had a panic attack one night over the fact the house we’d bought was further away from Liverpool and not as close to a train station as the one we had been renting was, and this made me feel even more isolated than before.
But the last few weeks have reminded that I’m definitely not alone. Far from it.
I have lots of incredible friends from various aspects of my life; from school, from university, from work, from blogging, even from friends of other friends. And over the last couple of weeks I’ve spent a lot of time with these friends, and it has really lifted my spirits.
Let’s start with last Friday. It was our summer night out with work and we went for a meal at Viva Brazil in Liverpool. I almost didn’t go. I almost talked myself out it like I had done for the last couple of nights out. Something had happened at work the day before and I wasn’t feeling particularly happy, and the weather was horrific.
But after much deliberation I decided to go, and I even took the bus into town for the first time. As I mentioned before, we aren’t as close to a train station anymore. However, a bus that goes straight into Liverpool runs past the end of our road, so I decided to give it ago. Buses, for some reason, make me really anxious, but it was absolutely fine, and it made me realise I’m not as disconnected from Liverpool as I thought I was.
In the end, I’m glad I went to the meal because I thoroughly enjoyed the food and I had a really good laugh with my colleagues. And even though I drank loads of my favourite beer (Sagres!) I wasn’t too hung over in the morning.
The next day I got up early and headed over to Manchester to meet up with Amy and Pauline. I’ve been following their blogs for a very long time so I was super excited to meet them in real life. I usually feel nervous about meeting other bloggers for the first time, but for once, I didn’t. I just had a good feeling that we’d all get on really well. And you know what? We did!
After Twitter users voted for us to get Italian food, we decided to meet up at a place called The Pasta Factory for lunch. I had a mushroom ravioli (I couldn’t pronounce the name let alone remember it) which was delicious, and we chatted about how weird it was to see each other in real life after all these years of just reading each others blogs.
After lunch we hunted down some delicious ice cream at a place called Gino’s Gelato. I chose caramel and Kinder Bueno flavoured ice creams and they did not disappoint. I really want to go back just to try the rest of the incredible flavours.
We browsed around some shops in the Northern Quarter, including the book shop my brother works in (although he wasn’t working that day). I bought a really cool print for Tyrone which has illustrations of iconic Formula 1 cars on it. Fortunately he loved it just as much as I thought he would.
After a spot of shopping, we spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in the park and chatting about everything and anything. There was no awkwardness at all. We just talked, and talked and talked! It was like we’d known each other for years…which I guess we kind of have. Honestly, Amy and Pauline are such lovely ladies!
Then on Wednesday this week I met up with Anca for a catch up. Anca suggested we try Alison Appleton Tea House on Lark Lane, and I’m so glad she did because Lark Lane is such a lovely part of the city that I’d always wanted to visit. I had a fruit infused tea (mango, I think) which was absolutely delicious, and incredibly reasonable price wise.
We had a lovely chat, and Anca kindly gave me a Marvel Comics light up canvas to put in my new house. We’ve put it on our bookcase in our living room and it looks so cool!
I booked a day off work on Friday because I my parents were coming up to Liverpool to see a show. We headed into town together and had lunch at Miller and Carter in Albert Dock. This restaurant has played a special part in our lives since I moved to Liverpool. It’s where we went to eat when I first moved to Liverpool, it’s where I celebrated my 21st birthday (and possibly my 19th?!) and it’s where we went to eat after my graduation. So it was lovely to go back with my parents again, and we made a toast to my new house.
Yesterday we invited a few of our friends over to the house. It was our first time having guests over in our new home so I was excited to show them around. My friend Rebecca (who I met at university) bought me some chocolates and a Yankee Candle in the best scent ever; black cherry. We played Cards Against Humanity, ordered some pizzas in, and just all in all had a really chilled out evening.
I can’t wait to get some beds in the spare rooms so we can actually have people to stay over. Public transport can really restrict how long people can stay in an evening!
So yes, as you can probably tell I’ve had a very busy few weeks, but I feel happy because I’ve spent my time with some incredible people who had helped to realise that I am not lonely and that I am loved. I’m so so grateful for having these people in my life, and if I ever feel lonely again I’ll just re-read this post.
I hope you have had a lovely weekend!