In a relationship for 7 years, but still single?
21st Feb 2017
Tyrone have been in a relationship for over 7 years, but apparently we are both still single.
Yes. Allow me to explain.
I don’t know if it’s the same in other countries but in the UK you sometimes have to declare your relationship status on forms. The options are usually (like 99% of the time) as follows:
So, if you are in a relationship, or engaged to be married, you are classed as being “single”.
On the very rare occasion there will be the option of “co-habiting” and I much prefer being given this option, but the vast majority of the time it’s not there.
And you know what? I feel like a part of me dies inside when ever I have to tick that “single” box.
It’s not because I have a problem with single people. Far from it. But it makes me feel like my relationship isn’t serious or doesn’t stand for anything because we haven’t exchanged vows or signed a piece of paper.
But it is a serious relationship. It’s over 7 years of dedication and love to one another. 7 years is a long time! I mean, some people get meet, get married, have kids and get divorced in the space of 7 years!
Although that’s not to say that if you’ve been in a relationship for less than 7 years it’s not as important. Time doesn’t matter.
We’ve been through tough times that have almost broke us, but we’ve survived. We’ve made it to the other side despite the odds being stacked against us. We’ve supported each other and stayed true to one another.
Our bond is just as strong as a couple who are married.
The things is, times have changed. In the past people married younger so that period of being “single” was a lot shorter. Nowadays it’s more common to see people getting married later in their lives such as their late twenties or their thirties. I think this is because people are prioritising other aspects of their lives such as their careers, travel and home ownership. I know I am.
There’s nothing wrong with this. At the end of the day, whether you choose to get married or not is a personal choice, and that choice should be respected regardless of external expectations.
For years I have had to deal with the question of “When are you going to get married?” which seems crazy to me as even at 23 I still feel young to get married, not to mention the fact I’ve been getting asked this questions since the age of 18 (I kid you not).
Yes, I’ve been in a relationship for 7 years, but that doesn’t mean I need to get married. I shouldn’t feel pressured into doing so. I’m happy with the way things are right now, so why change it?
(I’m certainly not going to get married just because someone in my family fancies a good old “knees-up” and an excuse to buy a nice outfit. You want a wedding so badly? Organise one for yourself!)
I’m in no rush to get married. I may choose to get married in the future, even if it’s just for tax purposes (if you think I’m joking, I’m not!), but if we do it will be when it feels right for us as a couple. And we’ll do it our way, on our own terms.
Woah! I’ve got off on a bit of a tangent! I just wanted to get that off my chest.
The point is, I feel these relationship status options are old fashioned. They’re out of date. They need to get with the times.
Perhaps there is a a good reason for forms to omit the options “In a relationship” or “Engaged”. Perhaps I’m just getting upset and passionate about nothing. I guess I just want my relationship to stand for something. I want it to be recognised. I don’t want to be given the title of “single” when I’m not.
How do you feel on this subject?