14th June 2016
I used to bite my nails constantly. I would bite them until they would bleed and be sore for days. In fact my nails were pretty much non-existent.
And be prepared for the next thing I admit to because it’s a gross as hell.
When I was younger I would bite my toe nails. Prior to the operation I had on my hip when I was 10 I was super flexible and I could get my toes to my mouth. Then I stopped biting them because I could no longer reach them.
When I was in plaster my toe nails grew for the first time and my mum gave me my very first pedicure. I loved how they looked but I could only dream of my finger nails looking that good.
Being unable to bite my toe nails helped me to stop, and there was a number of times in my life when I was unable to bite my finger nails too. For instance, when I had the operation on my hip when I was 10 I was full of cannulas and attached to all sorts of drips. I was as a high as a kite and as a result I didn’t bite my nails. But once I was off the morphine I got right back into biting.
Another instance was when I had some teeth out when I was about 13 years old in preparation for having my braces on. I had to have an operation because they needed to remove a tooth that was pushing down through the roof of my mouth, and my surgeon said he could fix my tongue tie at the same time. As a result my mouth was incredibly swollen for over a week and I couldn’t eat properly for days.
I recovered, of course, but then I returned to biting my nails again.
As I got older people started to make comments about disgusting my nails looked. Obviously, it hurt to hear that, especially as I knew they looked awful, but it was a habit I just couldn’t seem to break. I even tried that nail polish that has a terrible taste to it, but it didn’t stop me.
I think the final straw came when I was in college. I got a job working in a shop and I often worked on the jewellery stand. I would have to open tiny fastenings on bracelets and necklaces, but sometimes my nails were so sore and short I couldn’t do it. I mean, how lame is it having to ask the customer to put on their own jewellery because you can’t help. It was embarrassing.
I knew I wanted nice nails, so I went out and bought nice nail polish (that cracking nail polish that was all the rage at the time). I went cold turkey and it was so difficult. 18 years of nail biting causes serious damage to your nails, so even though I wasn’t biting them they still wouldn’t grow.
I started wearing clear nail polish like the Sally Hansen Advanced Hard As Nails polish. This particular polish helps to strengthen your nails, and with it being clear it meant I could wear it to work. I still use it now.
It took years but my nails eventually started to grow. They’ve never been super long (as you can see in the top picture) as they will break a lot, but at least they’re no longer so short that they bleed. Last year I had my first ever professional manicure and they looked so good!
I now know that I have anxiety, so it’s more than likely that I bit my nails because of how I was feeling. And when I look back at the times when my nails were at their worse it was always at times when I was nervous about something.
I can’t deny it, I still bite my nails. Sometimes I don’t even know I’m doing it. I still have anxiety and it still my nervous habit. But they’re a lot better than they once were.
I don’t know why I’ve wrote this post. I don’t know what the moral of the story is.
I guess I just wanted to share my story because I know there are lots of people out there who bite their nails or who have nervous/bad habits. And I want to show that it is impossible to break a habit, even if you’ve been doing it for your entire life.
Do you have a bad/nervous habit? Are you a nail biter?