Internet Throwbacks – Emails I’ve sent
12th January 2017
New series alert! Internet Throwbacks is a mini series in which I reminisce about stupid and embarrassing things I did online throughout my teenage years.
At the end of 2016 I decided to adopt the “inbox zero” attitude. As soon as an email lands in my inbox I either reply to it, delete it, or move it elsewhere. So you will find that my inbox, at present, is completely empty.
But my sent box is not. No, that’s a treasure trove of memories spanning nearly 10 years.
A few months ago I was browsing through the emails in my sent box in an attempt to find a copy of my personal statement from my university application (don’t ask, it’s complicated!) and I ended up reading hundreds of emails that I’d sent over the years, from 2009 ’til today.
And my goodness did I cringe!
I started reading them out to Tyrone and we laughed so much about how annoying and awful I was almost 8 years ago.
They were too good to keep a secret so I thought I’d share some of the highlights with you guys.
- I sent angry replies to weight loss pills spam. What did I think I was going to achieve?!
- I got a sub-domain and I emailed my host asking for help with building my website because my coding knowledge wasn’t good enough. Basically, I knew how to add headings (not even p tags), images and links, but didn’t know how to position anything! God damn you Piczo and your drag and drop feature.
- I sent a massive email I sent to my friend Leander with weird facts about my favourite film, The Dark Knight. I was obsessed.
- I emailed someone to ask if I downloaded something from their website if I would get a virus. Like they’d tell me if they knew!
- I emailed Georgie multiple times asking her for coding help. I’m so sorry Georgie! I was a pain in the arse!
- I found a email disqualifying me from a “win a domain” referral competition because I cheated by clicking my own link hundreds of times.
- I sent an email to someone telling them that someone else had copied all of their tutorials from their website. It worked because the content thief then took the tutorials down…
- …but I didn’t stop there because I then emailed someone who had a “wall of shame” on their website and asked them to name and shame the content thief. Oh dear!
- Someone emailed me asking for coding help and I talked about absolute positioning. This was 2009. I had zero idea what the hell absolute positioning was back then and my response was complete bullsh*t.
- I discovered about 200 emails responding to “affiliate” applications for my website. I didn’t know what an affiliate was back then but it was the in thing at the time and I jumped on the bandwagon.
- I sent multiple emails to my MSN friends about Viagra because of a virus on my computer. Probably obtained from downloading a dodgy copy of The Dark Knight…
- I set up two fanlistings (remember those?!) for my favourite members of Kasabian, but the fanlisting script didn’t work so I had to manually send out emails to people who applied! Fortunately, neither fanlisting was popular.
- I emailed my old college two or three times asking to change my subject choices before I started studying there because I couldn’t make up my mind! I almost studied Photography and English Literature. What?!!
- I found the very first email asking for advice about pursuing a legal case for medical negligence. At least I’ve got something positive to end on.
If you are ever really bored on Sunday, and you are looking for a simple, free way to entertain yourself, hop on your computer, scroll back through your old email, and cringe at all those emails you once sent.