I took a little break
1st December 2016
You may have noticed I’ve been a little absent from the blog recently.
In fact, I took the whole month of November off blogging, and it felt a little weird because I haven’t spent that much time away from the blog since early 2014 when I started blogging more frequently.
Weird, but definitely needed.
Allow me to explain.
Towards the end of October I noticed that I wasn’t feeling too good in myself. I’d just got over my first cold of the season, and the dark and colder days and nights were getting me down. I’ve always struggled this time of year, but I felt worse than ever before. I felt exhausted, stressed and just plain old miserable.
I felt like I just needed a break from life. I wanted to run away from adulthood.
I decided that I would take a month off writing this blog. I thought it would free up some more time so I could focus on me and my mental health. And that’s exactly what I did.
I made an appointment to see my GP to discuss the idea of having therapy.
I can’t remember how transparent I’ve been about my mental health on the blog, but back in the spring of this year I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. My solicitor arranged for me to see a psychiatrist as a part of my legal case, and this was the diagnosis he gave me.
I wasn’t exactly surprised. I’d known for a while that I wasn’t well. In fact, getting a diagnosis was somewhat reassuring.
Yet after I was diagnosed I did nothing about it. Life went on as usual because I was scared of reaching out for help. I was scared to say “I’m struggling” out loud to anyone.
So, going to see my GP to talk about getting help was a massive step for me. But I’m so glad I did it.
I saw a lovely doctor who had such a calming bed side manner that made me feel at ease straight away. I felt like I could open up to her, even though I’d only just met her.
I’m going to give therapy a go, but of course, I have to wait because it’s the NHS and you always have to play the waiting game with them. But, at least I’ve made a start with getting help.
Anyway, because I was still feeling so run down I ended up getting another bloody cold! I recognised that this was a sign; a sign I needed to rest. And so I took a couple of days off sick from work to recover and to take care of myself.
So yeah, November was a bit of a write off for me. But December will be better.
I’ve come back to the blog feeling energised and inspired. December is always my favourite month on the blog so I’m excited to get back into the swing of things again.
And hopefully, my mental health will pick up a little in this festive season, and I won’t get another cold.
It’s good to be back.