The Sunday Blog
11th May 2014
Emotionally, I’ve not been feeling so great this week. Of course, I was happy to finish my exams this Tuesday, but the final exam was tough and I really don’t think I did myself justice. And of course, seeing the Spirit on Wednesday was quite special, but I was in complete agony walking to the docks to see it.
I’ve been having a real tough time with my hip recently and it only seems to be getting worst. I can barely walking to the shops without being in extreme pain and limping. And I’m so embarrassed about it. I know people are staring at me because I can’t walk properly any more. It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to leave the house for the fear of being stared at and because I can’t stand the pain. And I hate taking pain killers. I don’t want to be dependent on drugs just to get me through the day.
I’m trying to go swimming more now my exams are over and I’m in my summer holidays. I’m aiming to go every Friday. I’ve decided to start paying and using the pool in one of the local hotels. It’s still cheaper than paying to get a taxi to the free swimming pool and back again. It’s not like I can walk there any more. Hopefully swimming will help build some muscle are around my hip. It certainly feels great being in the water, and I don’t have any pain at all. Well, until I start walking back when it kicks in again.
The uni are helping me to apply for student disability support from the government. I will get help towards buying text books and paying for internet so that I don’t have to keep going back and forth to the library. I’m just hoping I can get some support for field trips because right now I don’t feel like I’d be well enough to go on any trips. I have an appointment with the physiotherapist next Monday which I’m hoping will be beneficial. I’m just frustrated with the NHS that it takes months to see a physiotherapist when you are extreme pain and you can only walk for 10 minutes. It’s a disgrace!
So, as I am unable to go to the shops to spend my money I have decided to do some window shopping, online style. Here are a few of my favourite pieces, all from H&M.
1. I’ve never owned a little black dress, and although this one is more for casual wear I really feel like I could get some use out of it. Plus it’s only £7.99 (US$13.46 approx.).
2. I’ve been looking for a dress for the beach that I can just throw on over my bikini when I’m on holiday. I love the pattern on this one.
3. I just love the colour of this dress, but I’d really need to try it on to see how it fit my body.
4. Cute white vests are my favourite things to wear in the summer because you can dress them up or down. I need more!
5. This top has seahorses on it! Say no more! I don’t own any crop tops so I’m not sure how it would look but I think I could probably pull it off.
So, I was mainly thinking about holiday wear when picking out these items. I previously mentioned that Tyrone and I were looking to get a last-minute deal on a holiday once our exams were finished. However, thanks to my condition getting worse, I’m not sure going on holiday is the best idea right now. I can’t miss my physiotherapy appointment because it’s so important. But the longer we wait the more expensive the holidays get, not to mention the fact everywhere will be full of kids in the summer holidays.
I’m just feeling so downbeat. I just want to get away in to the sun, but what if something goes wrong? What if my condition gets worse? I don’t want to be stuck in a hotel. I want to explore, and I just don’t feel like I can at the moment.
I just never imagined a few months ago that my luck could get any worse, but it has. I just know what to do any more.