I learned a lesson from an episode of Frasier

23rd August 2017

My family laughed at me when I asked for a season of Frasier on DVD for Christmas one year. I remember them saying I was an old woman, and that next I’d be asking for the box set of Last Of The Summer Wine.

But I loved Fraiser. I still do. And if that makes me an old woman, then so be it.

It fits in with the rest of my lifestyle which includes knitting, constantly carrying around a hot water bottle with me, and staying in on Friday night.

Anyway, I was recently watching an episode. Season 2, episode 24, to be precise. Dark Victory.

In this particular episode, Frasier has a heart-to-heart with his dad, Marty.

If you’ve never watched Frasier before, stay with me. It doesn’t matter, I’ll set the scene.

Marty used to be a cop but before he retired he was shot in the hip while on the job. The bullet stayed in his hip, and as a result Marty has to walk with a cane. He ends up living with his son, Frasier, as his injury prevents him from living alone.

In this episode, Frasier questions his dad about his dreams to travel to Europe once his hip improves.

Marty tells Frasier that his condition hasn’t improved in the past year. He believed he would be better at this point in his life, but he isn’t, and I thinks that he never will be well enough again.

Marty is bitter because Frasier, who is healthy, is happy just sitting down not doing anything, while Marty wants to be “out there”, but he feels like he can’t be anymore. He tells him he doesn’t understand.

*Cue Eddie the dog to lighten the mood*

This scene resonated with me so much. Like no other scene in a TV show or movie had ever resonated with me before.

I have a hip condition that limits my mobility, like Marty. I want to travel, like Marty. I used to be “out there”, like Marty. I thought I’d be better by now, like Marty. I doubt that it will ever get better, like Marty. I’m bitter about other people who waste their mobility, or who don’t get it, like Marty.

Sadly, I don’t have a cute, intelligent Jack Russell, like Marty. But you get my point.

My health has a massive impact on my greatest passion in life; travel. And I’ve been particularly worried about my upcoming trip to New York. I’m not as fit as I thought I would be when I booked the holiday. My latest steroid injection wasn’t as effective as it has been in the past, and for months I didn’t work out as much as I should have done because we were busy with buying a house and moving.

I fear my legs giving up on me, and therefore I won’t be able to do as much exploring as I would like. We’ve already spent a lot of money on this holiday; I don’t want it to be a waste.

But wait a moment. The scene continues.

Frasier sincerely explains to his dad that his hip doesn’t have to stop him from travelling.

“You can’t walk around Paris – you could sit at a nice cafe and let Paris walk past you.”

I couldn’t help but smile.

Frasier reminded me that no matter what, I’ll still be able to indulge in my love of travel. Sure, I will have to make adaptations, and I might not always be able to do everything I want to do, but I will find a way to make the best of a bad situation.

One of my favourite memories of mine and Tyrone’s trip to Venice in 2014 is sitting on the steps of one of the bridges, watching the day turn into the night as the city lit up with millions of lights. We were sitting down because my hip was in agony after hours of limping around with my crutch in my hand. But despite the pain I was happy because I was in Venice, and I was with my favourite person. In that moment, it didn’t matter that I’d be unable to explore as much as Venice as I would have liked to. I was still experiencing the city, just in my own way.

So, if the pain becomes too much when I’m in New York, I’ll try sitting in a park, or in a coffee shop, and watch the world go by. Or we could hop on the tour bus, or attempt to use the subway. Or we could hire bikes to ride across the Brooklyn Bridge, or try out a rowing boat in Central Park.

No matter what, I will enjoy my holiday. I will make adaptations, and I will experience the world the Holly way.

See you when I get back from New York!

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  1. Have a lovely trip to NY!! I love that quote about Paris – I do love to walk around, but just sitting around in a cafe or on the Spanish steps in Rome or whatever and just enjoy the atmosphere around you is a great way to spend a holiday too. I just came home from Ireland, lots of walking and driving around but we also had lots of great moments in pubs with live music or at outside cafeterias.

    • Holly

      Thank you, Susanne!

      I have to admit, I’ve sat on the Spanish Steps in Rome when I’ve been in need of a rest! And it’s such a great place to sit and people watch.

      We actually spent a lot of time sitting in parks and cafes when we were in New York, and I have many happy memories.

  2. It’s funny how 80s and 90s sitcoms have aged so well and still have some pretty awesome messages. I feel like most modern TV shows wouldn’t hold up as well in a few years.

    I hope you have a lot of fun on your NYC trip! There’s a lot to do in NY that involves sitting. If nothing else, it’s always interesting and fun to just people watch. Cities like NYC, especially, have a lot of really unique people. You could probably make an entire trip out of just sitting in one central location and watching and listening to the people that pass by.

    • Holly

      So true! I feel like this about music too.

      We ended up spending a lot of time sitting down and people watching, and it was so much fun. I kept listening into other people’s conversations and it was fascinating. So many people from all over the world!

  3. Last Of The Summer Wine will make you an old woman moreso than Frasier, methinks XD

    I hope you have a lovely trip to New York – and I’m glad you’re not letting your hip condition get in the way of your travels. You deserve to see the world just like everyone else!

    • Holly

      Haha yeah!

      Thank you, Chynna. Fortunately my hip held up pretty well (thank you, painkillers!) but we did spend a lot of time sitting down and watching the world go by.

  4. What an interesting perspective. Seeing this episode resonating with you is pretty nice. Sometimes I wonder if producers intentionally write scripts with these hidden messages inside or if they come out unintentionally, depending on the audience member (in this case, you).

    Enjoy your trip and never stop traveling!

  5. Kya

    It’s good that you could find a show and scenario that connected with you personally and see a similar situation presented. I am glad to hear that you are feeling positive about the trip and have plans if you are not feeling the best. I do hope you have a great time. :)

  6. Hi, that is one nice scene and a very good quote from Frasier. We are in a misconception of travel to visit every spot of a place that we don’t even appreciate it truly or that’s how I feel sometimes. I hope you feel much better for your trip and enjoy. (:

  7. Enjoy New York! I can’t wait to read about it. :)